Venting?

I'm not sure that I even need to vent right now. I have a pretty blessed life. But who am I kidding? I am human, I am not greatful for everything 24 hours a day. I know everyone out there, where ever there is, can relate to this. Dont you hate that there will always be that one person you know in your heart you will never get over? Its quite annoying actually. You can sit there and list all the reasons why you know you shouldnt care about this person and yet... there you are, still thinking about him. I feel like kicking myself in the face when I knew I had someone who would treat me better than him but I was sto stupid in how much I loved him that I let that go and decided to be with him. Well where is he now? What gets to me the most is he says he still loves me, he will always love me, and he wishes he could be here with me but its not that simple. I know its not that simple but what seems simple to me is YOU STILL LOVE ME. If that is true, we can work everything out with time. No one is saying we have to jump back to right where we left off. I dont think many people value relationships anymore. If it gets too hard they're ready to give up before actually trying. I wonder if anyone really believes they will be with the person they get married to forever, until literally death parts them. I would. I would stay with him the rest of my life. I dont know if its only him that I feel this way for. I would like to move on but it's hard to see myself doing that right now.

I dont want to sound insensitive, I know why he left. I cant look past that at all. He isnt wrong for leaving either. I just feel like he isnt giving himself, or me, the chance we both deserve. I think he is scared. Scared to find out that if he comes back, things will be a lot more simple than he wants them to be. And that he would actually be happy if he came back. I feel like he would feel that isnt fair to him.

But then again... I could be wrong about everything.